Things you shouldn't underestimate. ever.

How unbelievable it feels to sit at a table surrounded by cousins, and just talking. And laughing too.


The convenience of a washer and drier on the same floor as my bedroom.

Deleting emails.

A stripe of pink in your bangs.

Squishy baby cheeks.


Coffee with a few dear friends.

Real Vitamin D. As in from the sun, not a tanning bed.

Hugs, tears, and advice. ((Simultaneously))

Recycling a vintage dress that my grandma wore in the 50's.

Not to mention the smile on my moms face when she saw me in the dress.

How hard it is to make 30 dollars at a garage sale.

Happy mail.

Words of wisdom from people who understand the pain. And have experienced the healing too.

Heart break.

Heart break. What does that even mean?


I guess its a statement we use without thinking. I was guilty of that until my heart was broken.

I finally feel like I can write about it without crying uncontrollably at my desk. I can type the words without every sad thought flashing before my eyes.
The pain is present still, but its bearable.

Almost four years ago, I began a serious relationship. I fell in love hard and fast. I was forever changed. As much as I hate to admit it, I was that girlfriend that I never expected I would be. I felt like I needed him. I did need him. His family became mine and I fell in love with every single one of them. I think thats why this is so hard. Its why the wound is so raw. Things between us haven't been right for awhile but its hard to admit.

I wasn't willing to give up, I wasn't ready to be defeated.
There comes a time when a person can no longer deny the inevitable. We didn't love each other the way we used to. It was different.

I cried a lot the last few weeks of our relationship. Thats not what happiness is supposed to look like. I knew that. We both knew that. I saw it as us giving up. We were giving up on each other. We were giving up on the last four years of our life. I think thats why it was so difficult for me. At what point is the problem 'unfixable?' Had we reached that point? Was it time to call it quits?

The good times were so good. Those are the times I think about when the room is quiet. When Im alone. When I flip through pictures on my computer. I guess that also makes the healing a little bit easier. Im not mad or bitter towards him and he is not mad or bitter towards me.

Its still hard though. A few weeks have now passed.
I still cry, but the tears are few. My heart still aches, but the pain is starting to subside.

Sometimes I confuse this independence with loneliness. But I am slowly healing and slowly learning. I am grateful for an overwhelming support system. They hold me through my tears and keep my thoughts occupied. I am forever thankful for them.

when it seems that all is wrong in the world

When it seems that all is wrong in the world I must remember to take a step back. The sun will shine again, the hurt will subside, the tears will fade, the wounds will heal, and love always wins.

To all of You

//via//

Rarely do I ever sit down at my computer at 7:09pm and write a blog post.
I just have so much tugging on my heart strings. So much that is dying to get out.

To the two people that fell in love and created a son, and then a daughter

To the person that showed me that love truly is unconditional

To the teacher that visited during the summer to make sure 2x2 was mastered

To the dad that taught me that if I could ride on two wheels, I could rule the world

To the woman that fights every single day for women less fortunate

To the girl friend that taught me that a box of wine is cheap but never disappoints

To the boy that taught me that love shows up in unexpected places...like english class

To the girl that taught me innocence is indeed bliss

To the mom that taught me how beautiful diversity is

To the friend that taught me life always goes on

To the cousin is preparing to bring a "little" into the world

To the blog friends that prove its not about how many people read this post

To the grandparents that never turned down a garage party, or a chocolate malt

To the elderly man that never fails to send a card, every week

To the brother that wasn't afraid to call dad because "I had to learn the hard way"







-----------> Your love has never failed me. <------------------ And every day it never fails to amaze me how much I have learned. And guess what? I'm only 19. I have so much more to be taught. I challenge you to think of all the big ((and small)) things that you learn throughout the day and throughout the grand scheme of this crazy, crazy world.

Book Club:Gone Girl

----This is a repost of my discussion on Gone Girl. -----
One of my favorite blogs, Life of Bon, is doing a monthly book club. This months book was Gone Girl and I wanted to be apart of the discussion.

You can find the find the wonderful book club host here:

_____________________________________________________________________________________
A few weeks ago I mentioned a great book that I had just finished. Gone Girl.
I really struggled to get through the first part of the book but after about half, I couldn't put it down. Not to mention it was one of those books that you wanted to remember every good quote that you read.

One of my favorite things about reading on my iPad is that I can take screen shots and save those wonderful little nuggets in my photos.

One particular part really stood out to me. And don't worry, if you haven't read the book this wont spoil anything. (The two main characters are Nick, and Amy.)

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Nick just wanted me to be happy, thats all, very pure.
Maybe I mistook that for laziness. I just want you to be happy, Amy.
How many times did he say that and I took it to mean: I just want you to be happy, Amy, because that is less work for me.
But maybe I was unfair. Well, not unfair but confused. No one Ive loved has ever not had an agenda. So how could I know?


Nick and I fit together. I am a little too much and he is a little too little. I am a thorn bush, bristling from the over-attention of my parents and he is a man of a million little fatherly stab wounds, and my thorns fit perfectly into them.
I need to get home to him.

_____________________________________________________________________________________






So when they say they just want us to be happy. They may just mean it.

{Be both.} The beauty behind little miracles

Something special to remember this weekend and always. Have you ever thought about the word humankind like that?
Human Kind.

Our family has been turned upside down the past few months but this weekend is cause for celebration. We are planning my cousins baby shower. Its was a surprise to both her and our family to find out that she was pregnant. Unexpected may even be the word but so much beauty has come from seeing her grow. (In many ways than one).

Sometimes surprises are the biggest cause for kindness. We had to step back and realize the beauty of what was transforming before our eyes. A small little human was forming.

Human, Kind. Be both.

An Unexpected Brake

As I strolled through Target yesturday afternoon I realized that I hadnt really thought about blogging for quite some time. As of last Wednesday I am on winter break. The night we got home Wisconsin was dumped on by the biggest snow storm we have seen since 1992. Dalton was out all plowing all night and I snuggled in to wrap some presents. The next day was nothing but a lazy snow day. It felt fabulous.

It isnt that I havent had anything to post about, its more about finding the time to post. So many wonderful things have been happening in the past few days, including christmas. I have so many pictures and moments to share with my readers and I am looking forward to sitting down and recording all of this years holiday memories. But today is not the day.

I hope your holiday was filled with pure joy. Mine was.

Lets catch up over a box of thin mints

A lot has been going on. Lets catch up. Feel free to indulge in a box of thin mints like I have already covered.

Its about that time to sign up for classes for next semester. I don't understand why this process becomes so stressful. They give you a time and a date that you can register and its a mad dash with people running across campus to get to a computer. It also seems to be that your computer completely malfunctions when you click "add" next to that class that has only one seat left. So at 11:00 on thursday, be thinking about me sitting at my computer having several small mental meltdowns. (say that 5 times fast)

Also on thursday, Dalton and I are headed to Madison to see the Broadway Musical Jersey Boys. Im surprisingly really looking forward to this. His whole family is going and we are going to have a nice dinner and get all dressed up. I like occasions to look fancy. Dalton on the other hand is not very excited about the "dressing up portion."

In other news... The dorm building that Dalton and I live in had the most bizarre thing happen this weekend. Someone was cooking meth in their dorm room. Yes. Cooking meth in a dorm room. Supposedly its the latest fad to cook meth out of a liter water bottle but I don't think that the end result is supposed to be a fire in a trash can followed by 600 residents having to evacuate at 2am. All that and now he gets to spend some time in the slammer. I guess dorm life may have prepared him for that life? Nah. I don't think so.

Daltons mom's house is really coming along. Its amazing how quickly everything goes once the drywall is finished. It has been so much fun being apart of the process. This weekend Dalton and a few friends worked on laying some of the wood flooring.






His mom has the best decorating taste and she found some old barn boards from a farmer. I almost fainted when I saw the finished product.


We also carved our names into the concrete while it was still wet.




Dalton let us get in the lift and he hoisted us up over the lake.





Thanksgiving is just around the corner. I haven't seen too many black friday ads yet but I am excited to create my plan of attack on that crazy morning. Do you know any websites that share the ads early? Im impatient.

And I will leave you with a picture of my step dad in honor of Veterans Day. He's the best. Thanks Jim.





Im linking up here.

Keep calm and enjoy a jumbo margarita

I lay in bed tossing and turning.
I know I'm tired. Why cant I just fall asleep?

The tossing and turning continues and because I have always been an anxious type of person, I begin to panic thinking of how tired I am going to be the next day. As if panicking is going to make me more tired. My mind is racing. Don't forget about calling on that apartment tomorrow. Schedule that advising appointment. Am I going to keep my roommate awake if I decide to finish reading the Sorcerers Stone? Oh dang, I forgot to email my professor those presentation scores. I wonder if Dalton is asleep?

Whoa.



I'm the type that requires the television to fall asleep. Dalton has been trying really hard to break that habit the past three years and when I am with him, I am usually fine. But I tend to get myself so worked up about nothing and then its uphill on roller-skates to try to get to sleep. And don't you fret, the sleep timer doesn't work. The second the TV turns off, I'm awake.

In an attempt to keep my very calm, cool and collected roommate around I have recently intercepted the habit of turning Netflix on my iPad and plugging in my headphones. I usually wake up strangled in my headphones. Its a risk I am willing to take.

I woke up, reset my alarm and slept for another 30 minutes. Are you surprised that I didn't wake refreshed? I was so lethargic that I walked out of our cafe without paying for my coffee. I struggled to stay awake during english and only a Dark Roast from Starbucks was going to keep my head from bobbing during my Early Childhood Foundations class.

Learning to do a mail merge was the last thing this exhausted brain could handle. I managed. I walked back to my dorm feeling defeated and hungry. (Because I am always hungry) Dalton asked me if I wanted to walk over to the local mexican restaurant to have a margarita and some chips and salsa. It was the last thing I felt like doing. But I did it. And I felt great. It's amazing what some good salsa and a Jumbo Margarita can do for a girl. (Besides make her a little tipsy)



Moral of the story?
Don't sleep with headphones in if you can help it.
And just when you think the world is against you, keep calm and have a jumbo margarita at your local mexican restaurant.

Well hello, November

Source

Things to look forward to in November...
Continued over-wearing of chunky sweaters and boots
Christmas list making
Christmas shopping. Hopefully most of it
Gingerbread lattes and peppermint mochas
The fact that Starbucks begins using the red "holiday" cups
Hopefully signing a lease for next fall
The obvious; Thanksgiving, over eating, black friday insanity
Planning for Jolynn's baby shower
Pinning way to many fall/holiday recipes that I will never get to.

Things I am not looking forward to...
Being dark at 4:30 pm. Ugh

white flag.

Thats right.
I surrender. The 31 day challenge just isn't for me. Its too much to commit to. I know, I know, I have come this far and I should just try to stick it out. But part of my whole goal of "getting real" was to be more honest with my readers and with myself.

It has also shown me that one of my new goals needs is to try and be a more organized blogger. I hope that you learned a little more about me throughout this attempt and I hope you aren't too disappointed. Im pretty disappointed with myself.


Maybe by next year I will have the will power, and hopefully the organization to keep it going. For now... I will press onward with the random postings of before. Enjoy.

If you really loved the 31 days posts, Gussy Sews is doing a really great series on a handmade business in 31 days. Check that one out.

Day 10: On finding inspiration

about finding inspiration.

Do you ever search through your pinterest and find yourself feeling inspired? Whether it be to spruce up your outfit or try a new craft or rearrange you living room or organize your closet or maybe its just words of encouragement.

(Every once and awhile I feel overwhelmed with all of the stuff I want to make or craft and I know I just cant get to it all)

But usually I close my safari page feeling inspired.

I showed you my pennant banner and then I saw this one on pinterest. My mom has been asking me to make a pennant banner for her office. I think she would love this delicate lace look.


via

Nothing like a little fall fashion inspiration, right?

via


I wish I could explain to you how excited I am to have "my own place." It may be awhile but gosh am I excited.

via
(This website has really cute ideas but is in another language...weird I know)


via



via


Too much inspiration. I know lets get real. My house will probably never be that clean and I will probably never get up early enough to look that adorable. We can aspire cant we?

You can follow me on pinterest here.

Day 9: Religion

About religion.
I talked here about politics. That was a little scary. Equally as scary is talking about religion. Is it ok if I throw a statement out there? ok here it goes. I feel like most bloggers are significantly religious. I know, I know its not true about all bloggers and I have found many that aren't.

My mom went to catholic school until high school. She was married in a Catholic church. Both my brother and I were baptized in the catholic church. We both also received first communion and confession in the catholic church. I guess you could consider us catholic. But I wouldn't say "satisfied" with our religion. My brother was invited by a friend to go on a mission trip with an ELCA Lutheran church. He agreed. We were so impressed by the youth group programs at this church. Not to mention the overwhelming acceptance change. Gay couples? In a church? You betcha. A woman pastor? How could this be? It was amazing. I felt so welcome and our family felt a sense of belonging. The politics behind the catholic church was one of our reasons we left the church. After being confirmed Lutheran and becoming a member of the church it felt right.

But I think the sense of belonging was the only thing that kept me in the church at all. It wasn't my devout belief in God. Im not really sure what I believe. I guess the only way to describe it is I believe that when I die. I die. Thats the end. I wont enter the pearly gates of heaven or the fiery pits of hell. That will be it. Im not really sure what will happen. I don't believe in giving the church money to "reserve" my spot in heaven. And if God is so redeeming, why is it wrong to be gay? Or have a woman pastor? Or be married and preach the word of God. There is just so much that doesn't make sense to me and probably never will. The funny thing is that my brother feels exactly the same way. And my mom is accepting of that. And its great.




I think religion is the wrong word for it. How about believing. What do you believe in?

I believe in inner beauty.
I believe in falling in love hard and fast.
I believe in the power of passion.
I believe that a good book can cure just about anything.
I believe that love comes from the strangest places sometimes. But thats usually when it feels right.

I suppose thats real enough for one morning. Thanks for sticking with me whether you agree or disagree. I will stick with you no matter what too.

Day 8: Drinking Coffee

About Drinking Coffee.

Cuz most Americans cant survive without it.






And lets be honest. There is nothing better than sitting at you computer, catching up on your favorite reading while sipping a steaming cup of coffee.

So lets discuss all the wonderful things that coffee does for us. Because no one wants to hear otherwise.




You cant click on the links for some reason so if you want furter information you can find the source here.

Research has also shown that drinking coffee can boost your sex drive.
Most importantly, its delicious!
So why in the heck wouldn't you drink it.

Follow stories of a girl and I will return the favor. It feels great to know just who is reading, doesn't it? And it is helpful if you leave a comment letting me know that you are a new follower.
Happy Monday

Day 7: embracing fall

About embracing fall.

and if you noticed that day 6 was missing, no, your not going crazy. It really is missing. I realized that it is really hard for me to sit down at my computer on a Saturday when I am sitting at my computer all week long. Saturdays are usually filled with doing things I love. Im not saying I don't love blogging. Its just that I blog every other day of the week. Saturday is a welcomed break. So if you call it cheating. Thats ok. Accuse away. Oooo that hurts. Ok, Im over it.

This weekend fall really came out in full swing. College football games, leggings, boots, sweaters, and of course coffee. So as of right now. I am embracing fall. Check back. It might not last long.

Day 5: Girlfriends

About girlfriends.

This posting everyday business is getting hard. I can already tell that this 31 day challenge will really test me. Its not only about posting for 31 days but more about posting 31 days of thought provoking posts.

Anyways... I thought it was important to write a post about having best friends. I recently heard someone classify one of their friends as a forever friend. That really stuck with me. All through middle and high school my two best friends were named ali. Yep we were the 3 ali's. We were inseparable. I will be honest when I started dating Dalton was when we started drifting apart. They never really had serious boyfriends so when I got into a serious relationship it was hard to balance my time and it was also hard for them to understand what it was like to be in a relationship. We stay in contact and not a day goes by that I don't think about both of them.

At the same time it is hard to classify either of them as my "best friend." I honestly wish that the three of us still had the relationship that we used to. I often miss it. We have all gone separate ways and to separate colleges. I understand that life does that to people. They will always be my forever friends. I think that term fits it perfect.

A forever friend: noun. Someone you don't go a day without thinking of. You will have memories of this person that you will cherish for eternity. An mutual understanding of both empathy and unconditional love.


_____________________________________________________________________________________
Happy Friday. I hope you are enjoying this 31 days series. I love the comments. My readers brighten my day. Follow Stories of a Girl and I will be sure to return the favor.

xxxxxxxxxx