Things you shouldn't underestimate. ever.

How unbelievable it feels to sit at a table surrounded by cousins, and just talking. And laughing too.


The convenience of a washer and drier on the same floor as my bedroom.

Deleting emails.

A stripe of pink in your bangs.

Squishy baby cheeks.


Coffee with a few dear friends.

Real Vitamin D. As in from the sun, not a tanning bed.

Hugs, tears, and advice. ((Simultaneously))

Recycling a vintage dress that my grandma wore in the 50's.

Not to mention the smile on my moms face when she saw me in the dress.

How hard it is to make 30 dollars at a garage sale.

Happy mail.

Words of wisdom from people who understand the pain. And have experienced the healing too.

Heart break.

Heart break. What does that even mean?


I guess its a statement we use without thinking. I was guilty of that until my heart was broken.

I finally feel like I can write about it without crying uncontrollably at my desk. I can type the words without every sad thought flashing before my eyes.
The pain is present still, but its bearable.

Almost four years ago, I began a serious relationship. I fell in love hard and fast. I was forever changed. As much as I hate to admit it, I was that girlfriend that I never expected I would be. I felt like I needed him. I did need him. His family became mine and I fell in love with every single one of them. I think thats why this is so hard. Its why the wound is so raw. Things between us haven't been right for awhile but its hard to admit.

I wasn't willing to give up, I wasn't ready to be defeated.
There comes a time when a person can no longer deny the inevitable. We didn't love each other the way we used to. It was different.

I cried a lot the last few weeks of our relationship. Thats not what happiness is supposed to look like. I knew that. We both knew that. I saw it as us giving up. We were giving up on each other. We were giving up on the last four years of our life. I think thats why it was so difficult for me. At what point is the problem 'unfixable?' Had we reached that point? Was it time to call it quits?

The good times were so good. Those are the times I think about when the room is quiet. When Im alone. When I flip through pictures on my computer. I guess that also makes the healing a little bit easier. Im not mad or bitter towards him and he is not mad or bitter towards me.

Its still hard though. A few weeks have now passed.
I still cry, but the tears are few. My heart still aches, but the pain is starting to subside.

Sometimes I confuse this independence with loneliness. But I am slowly healing and slowly learning. I am grateful for an overwhelming support system. They hold me through my tears and keep my thoughts occupied. I am forever thankful for them.

two green thumbs up

I really want to start a garden this year. One that I can make fresh salsa from. One that I can decorate the house with beautiful bushels of hydrangea.

Truth is, Ive never really had a garden before. Ive dreamed of lush pumpkin patches and fields of sunflowers. Suburbia doesn't really allow for those sorts of things though.
My mom gave me a copy of farm anatomy for christmas. It makes an adorable coffee table book but is also full of beautiful illustrations and some really good gardening advice.




Im hoping to start planting this weekend. We have not had the early spring that Jimmy the groundhog predicted. I dont want to plant a whole lot of stuff just to have the ground freeze and have all that work go to waste. Hopefully the ground wont freeze anymore after this week. I mean come on.



you can find farm anatomy by Julia Rothman here.

P.s. any green thumbs that have any practical advice for a first time gardener please feel free to comment!

Thanks a lot Robert Frost!

I was shown this video by one of my professors. That was on tuesday and I have watched it at least 10 times since that. I smile every time. Im sure some of you have heard of the kid president. This is him. An 8 year old boy with an amazing message.

"We can cry about it or we can dance about it."
So if you have 3 minutes to spare please watch and pass it on.




I think its absolutely amazing that a boy as young as 8 can have a better outlook on life than some adults do. I think his message is one that everyone can adopt. We can all dance, we can all laugh. Those two things alone can make the world a better place.

"Two roads diverged in the woods, and I took the road less traveled." AND IT HURT

I want one.

I would like to introduce you to Baby Benjamin Asa. My cousin popped him out after an exhausting 13 hour labor that ended with a C-section. That big ol' baby just wouldn't come out. We wanted to meet him so bad and his poor mama was exhausted. So at 3:00am they finally decided that C-section was the best option.


I honestly cant get enough of him.


Pretty sure my mom wanted me at the birth to scare me from having a kid anytime soon. I may be slightly scarred but holding that little man in my arms made all the screaming and pain and agony that I saw my cousin experience seemed to slip my mind. I squeezed him tight and everything in the world disappeared.

Dont worry. Im still not planning kids anytime soon.


My mom wants to quit her job and stay with little ben forever. I didn't think that sounded all that bad. Im thinking about doing the same. Nah, but maybe for the summer.

Cant wait to tell you more about this little guy. I sure am in love with him...

Our Weekend.

when it seems that all is wrong in the world

When it seems that all is wrong in the world I must remember to take a step back. The sun will shine again, the hurt will subside, the tears will fade, the wounds will heal, and love always wins.

We warmed our souls with Moonshine and Jager Bombs

This sequence of pictures reminds me of one of those flip books where when you flip through the pictures they make a moving picture. I held the button down on my camera and captured the boys creating a polar plunge of their own. doesn't quite seem like an spring break activity but in Wisconsin, you never know what weather to expect over spring break. Snow some years, sunny and 80 some years. we deal. Taylor and I held the towels and cameras while the boys jumped in one by one and one by one they jumped back out. (Not without a picture for bragging rights, of course.)