Reincarnation and other goodies.

It seems that since the rain is steadily falling and I have already reheated my cup of coffee at least 8 times this morning that a blog post is in order.

August has been absolutely gorgeous. The sunny and 85 type of gorgeous. It makes my heart so happy. But the grass is getting a little crunchy and the black eyed Susan's have been screaming for a drink of water. (Moms stingy and doesn't find it necessary to water the flowers.) So for today, we will let it rain.

After battling pneumonia for a good solid week and a half, I missed my little nugget and so off to the zoo we went.



^^ This "little" nugget I speak of is now a whopping 17 lbs so when his mom obliged to carrying him I did not object.




^^How national geographic of me to catch a giraffe in its natural element ((Hint Hint: look at its tongue))
And what's more natural than a zoo? Ugh. Those poor animals.







^^Cousins


^^ I hope to be reincarnated as a tortoise. They are slow, steady and live to be 150. What's not to like about that?

I think I'm happy to be back on this little blog.
For my next trick I will put my hair in a messy bun and wander aimlessly around Target for the next few hours.

Just enough but not too much.

It's officially summer now.
Meaning its officially time for the weather to get its act together. Sunny and 85 is all this girl is asking for.



Thursdays and fridays lately. Just me and this guy.
You will often find us dancing around the living room listening to Evan Murdock and the Imperfect Strangers. Coo coo cockatoo, look at me baby look at you.
Sneaking fig newtons from the cookie jar above the fridge. Drinking diet coke from a mason jar. Extra ice of course. Listening to the sound of light traffic pass by as we lie on a thrifted quilt in the backyard. Under a shade tree of course. Mom says no sunscreen for a few more months. Maybe we will meet a friend for lunch. Lets take the stroller and walk the bike path to a quaint little place on Willy street. You will cry in the stroller on the way home but the car ride will put you right back to sleep. I will catch up on reading or shut my eyes for a few quiet minutes as you continue your nap in the car seat.


I tell you how much I love your little toes and how proud your great grandparents would be of you. We giggle when you smile just as your great grandpa used to when he didn't have his bottom dentures in. I am tempted to give you licks of my chocolate ice cream cone but Ben, I know your mom would kill me.

At the end of the day, your mom picks you up and I tell her of all of our adventures.

Its just enough but not too much.

Banana Poke Cake

1 box yellow cake mix and whatever ingredients the cake requires (eggs, oil, water)
1 box Nilla Wafers
1 container of Whipped Cream
2 3.4 oz boxes of instant banana pudding
4 cups milk (to make the pudding)

1. Mix and bake cake according to box directions using a 9x13 pan


2. Cool cake for 5 minutes and use a round object to poke holes in the cake.
Make sure to poke all the way to the bottom of the pan. I used the end of a wooden spoon.


3. Prepare instant pudding. Stir well and let sit for 2 minutes. You don't want the putting to fully set up. Pudding should still be easily pourable after about 2 minutes.


4. Pour pudding over cake. Be sure to get pudding down in the holes. Refrigerate until cake is fully cooled.


5.After cake has cooled, frost with cool whip and top with crushed Nilla wafers.




Slice and serve!

I made this for an outdoor work celebration and it was an absolute smash hit.
Its pleasing to both the eye and the tastebuds.

Things you shouldn't underestimate. ever.

How unbelievable it feels to sit at a table surrounded by cousins, and just talking. And laughing too.


The convenience of a washer and drier on the same floor as my bedroom.

Deleting emails.

A stripe of pink in your bangs.

Squishy baby cheeks.


Coffee with a few dear friends.

Real Vitamin D. As in from the sun, not a tanning bed.

Hugs, tears, and advice. ((Simultaneously))

Recycling a vintage dress that my grandma wore in the 50's.

Not to mention the smile on my moms face when she saw me in the dress.

How hard it is to make 30 dollars at a garage sale.

Happy mail.

Words of wisdom from people who understand the pain. And have experienced the healing too.

Heart break.

Heart break. What does that even mean?


I guess its a statement we use without thinking. I was guilty of that until my heart was broken.

I finally feel like I can write about it without crying uncontrollably at my desk. I can type the words without every sad thought flashing before my eyes.
The pain is present still, but its bearable.

Almost four years ago, I began a serious relationship. I fell in love hard and fast. I was forever changed. As much as I hate to admit it, I was that girlfriend that I never expected I would be. I felt like I needed him. I did need him. His family became mine and I fell in love with every single one of them. I think thats why this is so hard. Its why the wound is so raw. Things between us haven't been right for awhile but its hard to admit.

I wasn't willing to give up, I wasn't ready to be defeated.
There comes a time when a person can no longer deny the inevitable. We didn't love each other the way we used to. It was different.

I cried a lot the last few weeks of our relationship. Thats not what happiness is supposed to look like. I knew that. We both knew that. I saw it as us giving up. We were giving up on each other. We were giving up on the last four years of our life. I think thats why it was so difficult for me. At what point is the problem 'unfixable?' Had we reached that point? Was it time to call it quits?

The good times were so good. Those are the times I think about when the room is quiet. When Im alone. When I flip through pictures on my computer. I guess that also makes the healing a little bit easier. Im not mad or bitter towards him and he is not mad or bitter towards me.

Its still hard though. A few weeks have now passed.
I still cry, but the tears are few. My heart still aches, but the pain is starting to subside.

Sometimes I confuse this independence with loneliness. But I am slowly healing and slowly learning. I am grateful for an overwhelming support system. They hold me through my tears and keep my thoughts occupied. I am forever thankful for them.

two green thumbs up

I really want to start a garden this year. One that I can make fresh salsa from. One that I can decorate the house with beautiful bushels of hydrangea.

Truth is, Ive never really had a garden before. Ive dreamed of lush pumpkin patches and fields of sunflowers. Suburbia doesn't really allow for those sorts of things though.
My mom gave me a copy of farm anatomy for christmas. It makes an adorable coffee table book but is also full of beautiful illustrations and some really good gardening advice.




Im hoping to start planting this weekend. We have not had the early spring that Jimmy the groundhog predicted. I dont want to plant a whole lot of stuff just to have the ground freeze and have all that work go to waste. Hopefully the ground wont freeze anymore after this week. I mean come on.



you can find farm anatomy by Julia Rothman here.

P.s. any green thumbs that have any practical advice for a first time gardener please feel free to comment!

Thanks a lot Robert Frost!

I was shown this video by one of my professors. That was on tuesday and I have watched it at least 10 times since that. I smile every time. Im sure some of you have heard of the kid president. This is him. An 8 year old boy with an amazing message.

"We can cry about it or we can dance about it."
So if you have 3 minutes to spare please watch and pass it on.




I think its absolutely amazing that a boy as young as 8 can have a better outlook on life than some adults do. I think his message is one that everyone can adopt. We can all dance, we can all laugh. Those two things alone can make the world a better place.

"Two roads diverged in the woods, and I took the road less traveled." AND IT HURT